To live fully as the women God has created us to be means stepping out of the shadows of shame and into His light, facing and tenderly reconciling (by His grace) the painful chapters of our lives. This includes the shame and sorrow of relationships where we were diminished, silenced, or left unseen through covert or overt abuse.

A relationship marked by psychological and emotional abuse (including manipulation) can quietly erode our sense of personhood. It diminishes how we show up for ourselves and in the world. The impact can be debilitating, even when, to others, we appear present and engaged.

One of the most essential — and hardest — acts of healing after such a relationship is learning to stand as your own witness. Not to convince, not to justify, not to be believed by someone else (even though that is helpful and has its place) — but to finally say to yourself, “I saw it. I lived it. It happened. And that is enough — I am my own credible witness.” This is the heart of reclaiming the truth, honoring your experience, and trusting yourself once again.
If you’ve lived through years of being unseen, unheard, or subtly erased, that internal witnessing becomes sacred work. It’s the rebuilding of self-trust in the light of God's truth. You’re no longer outsourcing your reality — you’re reclaiming agency and the right to hold and name your experience as your own. That’s the quiet revolution: when your inner voice, once forced to quiver, begins to speak with truth and authority again, even if no one else is in the room.

That internal validation becomes foundational for external expression. Once you’ve rebuilt that relationship with yourself, your outer life can begin to take shape around it. The spaces you inhabit, the relationships you choose, the tone of your work — they all begin to align with the self you’ve started to privately acknowledge and affirm.

There’s a gentle but mighty dignity in this.
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And you are worth it! You are meant to shine, beautiful lady! (Matthew 5:14-16)

The New Year is almost here! Get ready for some mother-daughter quality time with these date ideas---one for every month of the year. Personalize each idea with your own creativity.

🌸 Pamper Together:Indulge in a Spa/Massage Day or Enjoy At-Home Manicures and Pedicures

🌸 Watch Together: Movies, TV series, Live Performances, or Concerts

🌸 Create Together: Paint, Draw, Knit, Make Pottery, or Write a Poem or Short Story

🌸 Volunteer Together: Food Pantry, Senior Facility, Church, or Donation Center

🌸 Explore Together: Museums, Antique Stores, Historic Towns, Beach Shores, Parks, or Train/Boat Rides

🌸 Dine Together: Breakfast, Brunch, Lunch, Dinner, a Picnic, High Tea, or Dinner Theater

🌸 Solve Together: “Who Done It” Game, Word/Number/Jigsaw Puzzle, Escape Room

🌸 Move Together: Hike, Walk, Jog, Bike, Ride, Skate, Dance, or Workout

🌸 Renovate Together: Paint, Build, Repair, Redesign, Remodel, Reorganize, Declutter

🌸 Play Together: Tennis, Golf, Board Game, Card Game, Lawn Game, Arcade

🌸 Learn Together: Online/In Person/From a Book: Culinary Skills, Self Defense, Dance Moves, Painting

🌸 Cook Together: Bake, Boil, or Broil; Whip Up a Decadent Dessert; Make a Fancy Fruit Bowl or Salad

Click "Download File" for a printable version.

As I mentioned in a recent social media post, novel dates are a key to helping couples cultivate closeness. Novel dates help couples connect, help conflicted couples experience decompression, help stressed couples destress, and help unmotivated couples become revitalized.

Like any other healthy marriage practice, novel dates are not a cure all, but they are a healthy ingredient in strengthening a marriage. If you are a marriage mentor or coach, encourage your couples to not just add regular dates to their relationship, but to add novel dates.

Keep in mind, dates don’t have to be a scheduled “every Friday night” event. Some couples are good at being spontaneous or at regularly building consistent adventures and experiences into their relationship. That's excellent! But for couples in a dating rut, carving out a weekly or even consistent monthly time for novel dates can be transformative.

​And remember, a novel date is a date that is different from the couple's norm. What is novel for one couple might not be novel for another couple. Help couples to brainstorm on what would be novel to them.

Here are some ideas!

• Take a photo of the front of your house and then use the photo as a guide to create a painting of your house.
• Draw portraits of each other.
• Attend an improv show or take an improv class.
• Play hide and seek, play your own version of charades or Pictionary, or learn a new game together.
• Participate in a cooking, painting, pottery, or dance class.
• Browse a vintage or antique store, go to an open house, or attend an estate sale.
• Create a themed dinner night at home, complete with music and dancing.
• Volunteer together.
• Take a day trip or spend the day at a resort.
• Go hiking, biking, skating, skiing, snorkeling, fishing, or biking.
• Have a picnic on the waterfront or take a dinner cruise.
• Take turns planning a scavenger hunt for each other. (It can be as simple as a scavenger hunt around the house or it can be as far afield as around your town or city.)
• Go to a rodeo or compete together in a community event.
• Write a fun poem or story together by taking turns adding one line or sentence at a time.