Dr. Dawn-Marie Pearson
  • Home
  • About
  • Blog
  • Counseling
  • Coaching
  • Appointments
  • Speaking
  • Resources
  • Prayer & Bible Study
  • Contact
  • Session Rates

The Life Makers Blog

Marriage Makers: Acknowledge and Engage

9/4/2018

0 Comments

 
Picture
Couples who acknowledge and engage each other tend to have greater couple satisfaction and are more likely to stay together. That's what relationship research* has found. It has also found that one of the greatest predictors of relationship success is a couple's ability to, and habit of, turning toward each other rather than away from each other. The intimacy bond can be improved tremendously when one spouse makes an effort to connect by reaching out and the other spouse accepts the effort and responds accordingly. It's what I call acknowledging and engaging.

Acknowledging and engaging can include a simple gesture such as a brief verbal response, or it can involve a spouse "moving to action." Here are a few examples:

  • A wife is reading a book. She says to her husband who is across the room, "Wow, this is really interesting. I never knew this." Her husband looks toward her and says, "You never knew what?"
  • A husband is standing at the window looking outside. He says, "It looks overcast today." His wife says, "Does it? Perhaps this will be the perfect day to pop some popcorn and watch that movie we've been wanting to see."
  • A wife is trying to get the new printer to work. She says, "That's strange, this ink cartridge won't snap into place." Her husband says, "Let me take a look," as he walks over to her.
  • A husband and wife are driving to dinner. The husband says, "I wonder if we'll get in without a reservation." The wife says, "Hmmm, I don't know. But it's worth a try."
  • One spouse says, "My knee is looking a bit swollen." The other spouse comes over, looks at it and says, "It does look a bit swollen. Is it painful?"

Those are all examples of a spouse acknowledging and engaging. So simple. Yet the opposite can easily become a habit in marriage. Spouses can begin to ignore their spouses' attempts to connect. They begin to overlook opportunities to deepen intimacy through the simple gesture of acknowledging and engaging. 

A research* study conducted with newlyweds found that six years after the wedding, the couples who had stayed together were the ones who had turned toward each other 86% of the time. If you were to take an inventory of your responses to your spouse, what percentage of the time would you say you acknowledge and engage?

There's no time like the present to begin!


*Findings based on forty years of research conducted by Dr. John Gottman.
0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    Author

    Dr. Dawn-Marie shares a refreshing blend of professional insights and personal stories in this encouraging blog.

    Picture

    Categories

    All
    Abuse
    Anxiety
    Bible Study
    Books
    Children
    Coaching
    Communication
    Counseling
    Devotions
    Forgiveness
    Hope Church
    Identity
    Infidelity
    Journaling
    Knowing Your Rights
    Loss And Grief
    Marriage
    Marriage Makers
    Narcissism
    Panic
    Parenting
    Prayer
    Relationship With God
    Sermon Snippet
    Toxic
    Trauma
    Treasure Chest Radio
    Video


    Archives

    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    August 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    March 2021
    January 2020
    February 2019
    November 2018
    October 2018
    June 2018
    April 2018
    October 2017
    August 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    November 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015

    Archived Episodes

    RSS Feed

Copyright 2021 Dawn-Marie Pearson.  All rights reserved.
  • Home
  • About
  • Blog
  • Counseling
  • Coaching
  • Appointments
  • Speaking
  • Resources
  • Prayer & Bible Study
  • Contact
  • Session Rates