Why isn't my wife eager for sexual intimacy? This is a question I've heard in various forms throughout my years as a counselor. Certainly there is more than one answer to this question. Some reasons are medical, some are emotional, and some have to do with traumatic past experiences. However, there are a myriad of common reasons that have nothing to do with health or with trauma. Some reasons boil down to the everyday way a husband lives with his wife. Here are five things that, if a husband is doing, he might want to stop, because they are likely dampening and even dissolving his wife's eagerness for sexual intimacy.
A wife, too, has responsibilities to her husband, as articulated below. And it is also true that when a wife has Christ in her life, she has access to a strength that will see her through the marital disappointments with which she might be living. But this does not absolve a husband from his responsibilities. Yes, Christ loves us more than anyone ever could. But Christ also calls the husband to actively love his wife more than that husband ever thought possible.
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Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church—for we are members of his body. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. (Ephesians 5:25-33, NIV)
© 2016 by Dawn-Marie Pearson. All rights reserved.
Dr. Dawn-Marie shares a refreshing blend of professional insights and personal stories in this encouraging blog.